Thursday, December 8, 2011
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Monday, December 5, 2011
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Friday, December 2, 2011
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Friday, November 11, 2011
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Friday, September 9, 2011
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
Saturday, July 30, 2011
As I sit and type it is pushing 4am and sleep is probably still a good distance away for me. I am wired. Why? Well, I’m glad you asked. I just got off the phone with my wife and four amazing Ethiopian children whom I’ve yet to meet in person. And that event has me quite alive at the moment.
During this past week, Jessica has been in Ethiopia and I have been an emotional wreck. Although not for the reasons you may think. Sure I miss my bride greatly, but that’s not it. And certainly I wish I were there to meet our children as well, but that’s still not what has caused my eyes to sweat so profusely. God has been teaching me something about His love.
The parallel between our adopting children and our adoption by the Father through the work of Christ (see Ephesians 1) had been brought to my attention sometime ago. Many thanks to Adopted For Life by Dr. Russell Moore. And the more this truth has had time to marinate in my brain the more real and breathtaking it has become. But this week something different had a hold of me. I was missing my wife and thinking of these children and the thought occurred to me that they don’t really know what it’s like here; what it will be like to live with me and Jess. All they know is what they’ve got and they don’t realize or understand yet what they will soon have. God grabbed this opportunity to help me know that I don’t really know what our inheritance is either. Understand that we are not merely saved from hell, death, and sin but we are saved to eternal life with the God who loved, created, and rescued us! We can’t really know all that awaits us or the depth from which we are being saved, but it is vast.
Jessica and I are going to great length to bring these kids home. We love them and are doing everything in our power to get them here with us. And it hit me this week, the great lengths that God went to save us! We are spending time, money and effort. Jesus gave His life! He left heaven. He left perfect community and walked among us so that by His tortuous death and glorious resurrection He might reconcile us to Himself. What an amazing thing!
I believe with all of my being that adoption is the clearest most beautiful picture of the Gospel that we have among us. Marriage is certainly a great picture of Christ and the church, as His bride. But adoption is a better picture only in that it is personal rather than corporate.
Maybe the most amazing part about it is that as beautiful as it is, it’s minute in comparison to His great love for us. We have chosen to love these four kids that we didn’t know. They’ve never wronged us. In our eyes they are innocent and deserve love. They are made in God’s image. Yet we, in our sinfulness, have transgressed an infinitely holy God and still He chose to love us, redeem us, and bring us into His glorious presence.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Ok if you have been following Haley's posts..well you'll have to forgive me...I am not as gifted with story telling and phrasing as she is! I have thoroughly enjoyed your posts Haley and am so, so thankful to God that He sent her with me!! You are and were such a blessing to me!
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Sorry I haven't posted more updates. But between jet lag, poor access to internet, and just not knowing where to start....but I've got to start somewhere right? Well I only slept 4 hrs after meeting them the first day...I woke up at 2:30 and all the thougts of them and our next meeting began. My mind was racing with with what I wanted to make sure I told them before leaving, among many other things. One of those things was circling up all the kids at the orphanage for prayer before leaving the second visit. So I did and my 2 older kids and a 10 year old sweetheart came and thanked me and hugged me afterwards and said God bless you. Oh break my heart! We have played with bubbles, beach balls, read Bible stories, put together a puzzle. I am so impressed with how much English my kids know along with others at the orphanage. 2 of my kids can understand most things I say and speak in phrases. Our daughter understands more than she can speak but she does a pretty good job too! Our 4 year old is a ham...he is so loving, he just held on to my face with his cheek pressed to mine the first day and then kisses your cheeks and forehead with such conviction. They are all very affectionate...which is common in their culture and I just love it. Our daughter plays with my hair and just giggles. They love to show off their English and their talents. They each sang a solo the first day I met them. I'm telling you these kids rock...they are going to fit in with us so well. Our oldest boy loves soccer and was hitting the beach ball like a volleyball and I explained to him that he was playing what we called volleyball and that papa is really good at volleyball and really like to play. He just lit up and began asking what my favorite sport is. They have told me their favorite colors and what they want to be when they grow up. I told them that Ryan is a pastor and they just smiled ear to ear and J. said "Yes!!" They ask if papa is coming each day but understand he will come and see them next time. I know I am all over the place but I just wanted to give you some tidbits of how wonderful my week has been. I can't believe its actually happening. God is so good! I am so thankful for this gift he has given me and don't understand why he picked me to be their mom but I am so honored. I am not worthy but He is. Thank you for all the prayers...I can feel them.
P.S. Becky....tell Rachel the kids loved getting her letters and gifts and lit up talking about her and Jordan. I really enjoyed being a part of that.
Love to you all from Addis,
Monday, July 4, 2011
Friends, as I was in the air flying to Ethiopia, my Dad was being rushed to the emergency room after nearly two months of trying to figure out what has been causing him pain in his back. Everything seemed explainable, but definitely not right. He has been to Dr. after Dr. and everything was checking out ok...until yesterday when he was unable to get out of bed with the pain significantly increased. At this point the Drs. are Oncologists and Hematologists. As I sit right where I know for sure the Lord has led me to sit, my Dad is in pain and unsure of where we are headed. Man this is hard. However, even in heartbreaking confusion I trust the Lord. Please pray for Dad, and pray for me as I commit to the joy God calls me to have in all circumstances. Jess and I are headed to the orphanage to meet the kids in about 20 mins. All I know to do is ask for your prayers.PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE pray with us and pass this on to get others to pray. Haley is near and dear to our hearts and on top of that, in many ways, has made the trip to Ethiopia possible. As she rejoices with Jessica there with our kids she also suffers by being on the other side of the world from her daddy and not knowing all that is happening.
- For healing and comfort for Mr. Scully
- For peace and calm for Haley
- For assurance and patience for the Scully family as they wait for answers
- For accuracy and clarity as the doctors look for answers
- For the potential strain this could put on Jessica and Haley as they fight different emotions and jet lag
Friday, July 1, 2011
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Haley and I will appreciate your prayers. I am praying that God will use us to love on as many of His children as possible and to remind them they are not forgotten.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Monday, May 2, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
There are several phrases that well-meaning people say that are sometimes not the best possible thing to say at a given time. For instance, a funeral is not always the best place to say “Well, I’m sure they’re in a better place.” We’ve probably all said that. I know I have. And some people may not be bothered by it at all, but there exist safer things to say. Another example might be trying to comfort someone who is going through cancer with “This too shall pass” or the old favorite “Joy comes in the morning”.
But I’m guilty of all of these and I’m not writing to beat you up about what you’ve said wrong in the past. Well maybe a little. I want to give you a few not-so-great things that are often said to adoptive parents, potential adoptive parents, or those struggling with infertility. These are in no particular order and some are completely stolen from friends who’ve shared these with me.
For starters, if someone says they’re adopting don’t ask why. A few times people have actually said, “Why would you adopt? You can’t have kids regular?” Immediate throat punch is the result. Instead consider this as an option: “That’s awesome! Congratulations! How can I pray for you specifically?” That leaves it open for the person to share any struggles they are having with infertility or just the adoption process in general.
Here’s a big one. Please don’t assume that because someone adopts that means they will all of the sudden become pregnant. I know right now you are listing off couples in your head that you know personally that this happened to. That’s great! But it DOES NOT happen for everyone. So for you to say, “Oh, I’m sure you’ll get pregnant as soon as you adopt. It happened for Bob & Susie and Bill & Nancy and...” it just causes all kinds of problems. For one, you may be building false hope because you are not, in fact, the Giver of Life. Also, in some people’s eyes it devalues adoption. As if to say that if you’re faithful in doing that then God will truly bless you with a child. It’s just all wrong. The antithesis is also accurate. If someone is adopting and becomes pregnant avoid the oh-I-just-knew-as-soon-as-you-started-adoption rhetoric.
Also, if you hear someone is struggling with infertility Please don’t offer them your kids in jest. It’s not funny. I can’t tell you how often I’ve heard things like that! People say, “Ugh! You just think you want kids. You can keep little Johnny for a weekend and I bet you’ll change your mind.” We want the child(ren) God has for us. So you can keep your rotten heathen and your comments to yourself.
When someone is adopting older children (as in our case) please don’t patronize with phrases about not having to deal with crying at night or diapers, etc. Not all people choose to adopt older children to avoid stinky diapers and sleepless nights. We will have plenty of trials of our own and grieve the time lost with our adopted children, all of the time lost.
I am hesitant to add this one and I want to tread lightly as I do. This doesn’t bring the pain like some of these others might, but it can sometimes be tiring to answer the question “Any news yet?” On the surface the question is obviously caring and in no way is it hurtful, but it is a constant reminder that there is no news. We still want people to care and be involved. Just understand that on any given day we might be asked that same question 5 or 6 times each. I would offer this as an alternative: “We are still praying for you and your kiddos!” or maybe “Let me know if there are specific ways we can pray.” It just alleviates the pressure to share all of the mundane details involved in waiting. And yes, waiting for the elusive travel date is as bad as it sounds. Grueling in fact. Know that we will be glowing when we have news and happy to share every little detail to the point that you will wish you hadn’t asked.
I don’t have as many of these because we are still pre-adoption, but here’s a couple just for balance.
If it is obvious that someone has either adopted, kidnapped, or is babysitting the children they are with in the grocery store, then it is obvious. No need to ask, “are they really yours?” This could be confusing, especially for older children. Just smile and tell them how cute they are or call the police or both. I can’t wait for the day that someone cocks their head and asks if the four black children are ours. “Yeah, weirdest thing, right? They came out so dark.”
Some people are bothered by being asked if they are all siblings. If they are all adopted by the same parent then they are all siblings! Pop quiz: One biological child, one adopted from Africa and two adopted domestically. Are they all siblings? If you answered ‘No’ then you are on your way to a disgusted look before you know it. Don’t make parents answer the details of that question...to you (a stranger)...in front of their kids.
All that said...
Please don’t apologize if you’ve said these things to us. You may know who you are, but we don’t remember so let’s leave it that way. We don’t hold grudges and have laughed away most of it knowing that we’ve put our foot in out mouth more than we’d care to admit.
Please feel free to add in the comments your own examples of awkward things people have said to you.
And above all of this please know that the thoughts contained in this email are my experiences and may not be true for everyone. I only offer what’s here as a guide in trying to say what’s in your heart. If you mean well and want to offer your friend or loved one some expression of tenderness and caring in whatever it is they are walking through there’s one phrase that ALWAYS fits: I love you.
Thanks for reading.