Monday, March 22, 2010
Well, I have been on an emotional roller coaster this year. I was really discouraged about how long it was taking to get our adoption officially started(having our paperwork submitted for review by N.) for a few months. Then through encouraging words and prayers of several friends and learning some truths in Beth Moore's Breaking Free revisited, I have a peace that I can't explain. I really didn't want to blog about my discouragement(really mild depression if I'm honest) because I'm a person who likes control and didn't want to be viewed as whiney and weak. But in one of my bible study lessons, it hit me like a ton of bricks that I was being prideful by not admitting my weakness. Beth points out that pride won't admit to weakness and says secrets are nobody's business. We should view pride as a vicious enemy. Proverbs 11:2 says:When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. I have since, talked to my manager at work and some coworkers and told them I am having personal struggles that are magnifying stress at work and that I needed some help. And another blessing is that they were all glad to help in any way they can, and things have significantly improved with my outlook on work. I am so thankful that my God loves me so much to put just the right people in my life to encourage me in the just right ways at the right time.
Then came some very concerning news from our agency. There are some issues with adoptions in N. In a nutshell the US are concerned over how N. is handling their adoption process. As it stands now, our agency doesn't think that the US will end its relationship with N. but it could happen in the future. This has spurred Ryan and I to consider our next steps if this happened. It really saddens me to think we may have to pick another country...but I do trust that God has his hand in this and will guide us all the way. For me, it is sometimes hard to discern whether God is closing this door to N. for us or if this is the enemy trying to put up roadblocks and trying to deter us!! Our dossier(paperwork) is supposed to be submitted to N. on April 15th, so I'm sure we'll know more soon.
Please pray that we will seek God's guidance as we make decisions along the way with our adoption and as Ryan graduates and pursues his career. Thank you in advance for all the support and prayer!
Posted by jessicawalling at 1:38 PM