Made it home

Praise God I am home safely and healthy!! What a blessing this past week has been. I promise I have many stories to share with you all about our amazing kids. I just need some time to put my thoughts together. I am so glad my first full day at home will be spent worshiping my King in church today. More to come soon.

Jessica

Can't stop smiling

Hey everyone,

Sorry I haven't posted more updates. But between jet lag, poor access to internet, and just not knowing where to start....but I've got to start somewhere right? Well I only slept 4 hrs after meeting them the first day...I woke up at 2:30 and all the thougts of them and our next meeting began. My mind was racing with with what I wanted to make sure I told them before leaving, among many other things. One of those things was circling up all the kids at the orphanage for prayer before leaving the second visit. So I did and my 2 older kids and a 10 year old sweetheart came and thanked me and hugged me afterwards and said God bless you. Oh break my heart! We have played with bubbles, beach balls, read Bible stories, put together a puzzle. I am so impressed with how much English my kids know along with others at the orphanage. 2 of my kids can understand most things I say and speak in phrases. Our daughter understands more than she can speak but she does a pretty good job too! Our 4 year old is a ham...he is so loving, he just held on to my face with his cheek pressed to mine the first day and then kisses your cheeks and forehead with such conviction. They are all very affectionate...which is common in their culture and I just love it. Our daughter plays with my hair and just giggles. They love to show off their English and their talents. They each sang a solo the first day I met them. I'm telling you these kids rock...they are going to fit in with us so well. Our oldest boy loves soccer and was hitting the beach ball like a volleyball and I explained to him that he was playing what we called volleyball and that papa is really good at volleyball and really like to play. He just lit up and began asking what my favorite sport is. They have told me their favorite colors and what they want to be when they grow up. I told them that Ryan is a pastor and they just smiled ear to ear and J. said "Yes!!" They ask if papa is coming each day but understand he will come and see them next time. I know I am all over the place but I just wanted to give you some tidbits of how wonderful my week has been. I can't believe its actually happening. God is so good! I am so thankful for this gift he has given me and don't understand why he picked me to be their mom but I am so honored. I am not worthy but He is. Thank you for all the prayers...I can feel them.

P.S. Becky....tell Rachel the kids loved getting her letters and gifts and lit up talking about her and Jordan. I really enjoyed being a part of that.

Love to you all from Addis,
Jessica

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE pray with us

I may post here several times this week in order to keep all who care abreast of happenings in Ethiopia as Jessica and our friend Haley are there visiting our kids. Actually, right now, as I type this they are at the orphanage. It's about 6:15pm there.

This is a special post. Haley's dad has been sick for a couple of months now and they aren't quite sure what's wrong. Why don't I just let Haley tell it. Here is a message she sent to her friends asking for prayer:

Friends, as I was in the air flying to Ethiopia, my Dad was being rushed to the emergency room after nearly two months of trying to figure out what has been causing him pain in his back. Everything seemed explainable, but definitely not right. He has been to Dr. after Dr. and everything was checking out ok...until yesterday when he was unable to get out of bed with the pain significantly increased. At this point the Drs. are Oncologists and Hematologists. As I sit right where I know for sure the Lord has led me to sit, my Dad is in pain and unsure of where we are headed. Man this is hard. However, even in heartbreaking confusion I trust the Lord. Please pray for Dad, and pray for me as I commit to the joy God calls me to have in all circumstances. Jess and I are headed to the orphanage to meet the kids in about 20 mins. All I know to do is ask for your prayers.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE pray with us and pass this on to get others to pray. Haley is near and dear to our hearts and on top of that, in many ways, has made the trip to Ethiopia possible. As she rejoices with Jessica there with our kids she also suffers by being on the other side of the world from her daddy and not knowing all that is happening.

Specific ways to pray:

• For healing and comfort for Mr. Scully
• For peace and calm for Haley
• For assurance and patience for the Scully family as they wait for answers
• For accuracy and clarity as the doctors look for answers
• For the potential strain this could put on Jessica and Haley as they fight different emotions and jet lag

I know even now many of you have begun to pray. Thank you.

I do want to leave you with a quick kids update. I awoke this morning to two text messages that immediately made happy tears flow. Jessica's said, "kids English is really good. They are amazing!" And one from Haley said, "You wife is showing your kids video of you and they cant take their eyes of you saying 'papa'." As I type this I weep with joy.

Lord, please help us get these kids here quickly.

Thank You, God.

Thank you for reading.

glucose comas and driving on empty

Readers,

My heart is both heavy and happy. The mix of emotion can most likely not be accurately described with words, at least not in a blog. It would take volumes to express and would be as unintelligible as it would be hefty. I will nevertheless ramble a bit here for both our sakes.

I deliver Jessica to Dallas tomorrow and she will board a plane with one of our dearest friends, Haley, for Ethiopia to visit our kids. I have ceased the adjective labels such as "soon-to-be" or "hopefully" to describe the children. They are no one else's. And desperately loved and longed for by us. The only adjective I want to use currently is a possessive one - OURS. (heavy sigh)

So, Jessica is going to visit them and I don't get to. Will someone cue the pity party music? I am really excited for her getting to go...it's just...seriously. Someone? The MUSIC!!! It's just I really want to meet our kids too. So I'm a bit sad.

Jessica has purchased enough candy and toys to stock the Texas State Fair for three millennia. She's sitting on the floor packing balls and bubbles and books and suckers and Starburst into her suitcase. I told her in a foreign country to try to blend in. "Try not to look too much like a tourist." That's what I told her. Apparently her idea of blending in is wearing a pages from coloring books while tossing out candy to the onlookers like she's the Krewe of Janus. I love my wife. I love that she'll read that and purse her lips, shake her head and smile at me with her eyes. Anyway, the orphanage has quite a treat coming. Possibly one or two glucose-comas as well.

I just wrote a letter to our kids that Jessica will deliver. I cried through my writing until I ran out of things to say. I asked Jessica if she had any ideas of what I could say and she allowed me to read some things she has written in a journal to them. I just thought I had cried. My wife's heart is incomprehensibly wonderful. Beautiful were her words. And our kids will one day be immensely blessed. My letter will no doubt be butchered in translation, all heart-felt emotion and loving tenderness sapped from the page by poor interpretation. Aren't I Debbie Downer? Sorry all you Debbie's out there. Especially you little ones. (wink). Most of my negativity is only here to mask a deep longing for this process to come to completion with our kids safely home.

Contrary to the tone thus far I am rather happy. There is a little life growing inside of Jessica that I also am excited to meet! Seeing its little heart beat was amazing, and then Jessica began feeling it kick, and now I CAN FEEL IT TOO!! Forgive my seeming insensitivity by calling it "it". Many of you may know that we are not finding out the sex of the baby...until its born of course...then we'll know. We like living on the edge. I've been driving my truck on empty for two days. Edgy. You don't know me.

Thanks for reading.

God's blessings

So I am planning my trip to Ethiopia!! Up until 2 weeks ago I wasn't sure I was going to be able to go because I hadn't found anyone to travel with. Our dear friend Haley told us she believed God was leading her to go with me. She and I prayed about it and had complete peace. Next step was for her to send out a letter asking for support to help with the cost of the trip and lost pay at work. 1 week after sending out the letter she had half of the money. Wow!! I can see God working already. While trying to get our flights planned we couldn't get the direct flight to ET, but by the time I booked the flights the direct flight had opened up and it was $300 cheaper. No coincidence I'm sure! I just heard yesterday that the airline is going to provide our hotel stay in DC at no additional cost. Now I am getting toys and things to play with the kids at the orphanage together. This is going to be fun!! I'm not sure if our kids will know I'm coming or be completely surprised when I show up. But I can't wait to meet them!!
Haley and I will appreciate your prayers. I am praying that God will use us to love on as many of His children as possible and to remind them they are not forgotten.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

An update...prayer requests

I'm sorry I haven't been very good about updating our blog!! Sadly, there's not much to update you on. We are still waiting to be submitted to court....waiting on a few Ethiopian documents to be gathered. Please pray that the people involved in accomplishing this would be dilligent! I cannot tell you how much we desire to bring these four precious kids home to join our family...even if they never get to come to our home, I will still consider them our kids and will visit them as often as I can. Our agency director made a trip to Ethiopia a little while back and gave the kids our care package that we sent to them...she videoed them opening them and showed them looking at pictures of us...very sweet! When they were asked if they were excited about having a family...the oldest boy quickly answered "yes, very much!!" Oh, break my heart....I continue to hear from other families that S.(our oldest boy) is very special.

We are trying to come up with their American name in case they want to be called by it. I want S. to have a strong leader name...I believe he will make a big difference for the kingdom just by things people have told me about him. I told Ryan I'd like to meet them before I pick their name for sure. We like the name Canon for the middle boy.It means the standard, or rule, by which things are to be judged, measured, or weighed. Eden is the name we have picked out for our daughter.

Now on to my next prayer request. I am planning to visit our kids this summer most likely without Ryan. Don't worry he will meet them soon enough. I have invited a friend to go along with me and make a mission trip out of it so we can love and minister to other orphans...remember 98% of the world's orphans are not adoptable!!! I am still working out the details so pray with me that we would seek God's guidance in this and that we would trust that He will provide the means to go!!

Jessica

Immediate throat punch

There are several phrases that well-meaning people say that are sometimes not the best possible thing to say at a given time. For instance, a funeral is not always the best place to say “Well, I’m sure they’re in a better place.” We’ve probably all said that. I know I have. And some people may not be bothered by it at all, but there exist safer things to say. Another example might be trying to comfort someone who is going through cancer with “This too shall pass” or the old favorite “Joy comes in the morning”.

But I’m guilty of all of these and I’m not writing to beat you up about what you’ve said wrong in the past. Well maybe a little. I want to give you a few not-so-great things that are often said to adoptive parents, potential adoptive parents, or those struggling with infertility. These are in no particular order and some are completely stolen from friends who’ve shared these with me.

Pre-Adoption No-no’s

For starters, if someone says they’re adopting don’t ask why. A few times people have actually said, “Why would you adopt? You can’t have kids regular?” Immediate throat punch is the result. Instead consider this as an option: “That’s awesome! Congratulations! How can I pray for you specifically?” That leaves it open for the person to share any struggles they are having with infertility or just the adoption process in general.

Here’s a big one. Please don’t assume that because someone adopts that means they will all of the sudden become pregnant. I know right now you are listing off couples in your head that you know personally that this happened to. That’s great! But it DOES NOT happen for everyone. So for you to say, “Oh, I’m sure you’ll get pregnant as soon as you adopt. It happened for Bob & Susie and Bill & Nancy and...” it just causes all kinds of problems. For one, you may be building false hope because you are not, in fact, the Giver of Life. Also, in some people’s eyes it devalues adoption. As if to say that if you’re faithful in doing that then God will truly bless you with a child. It’s just all wrong. The antithesis is also accurate. If someone is adopting and becomes pregnant avoid the oh-I-just-knew-as-soon-as-you-started-adoption rhetoric.

Also, if you hear someone is struggling with infertility Please don’t offer them your kids in jest. It’s not funny. I can’t tell you how often I’ve heard things like that! People say, “Ugh! You just think you want kids. You can keep little Johnny for a weekend and I bet you’ll change your mind.” We want the child(ren) God has for us. So you can keep your rotten heathen and your comments to yourself.

When someone is adopting older children (as in our case) please don’t patronize with phrases about not having to deal with crying at night or diapers, etc. Not all people choose to adopt older children to avoid stinky diapers and sleepless nights. We will have plenty of trials of our own and grieve the time lost with our adopted children, all of the time lost.

I am hesitant to add this one and I want to tread lightly as I do. This doesn’t bring the pain like some of these others might, but it can sometimes be tiring to answer the question “Any news yet?” On the surface the question is obviously caring and in no way is it hurtful, but it is a constant reminder that there is no news. We still want people to care and be involved. Just understand that on any given day we might be asked that same question 5 or 6 times each. I would offer this as an alternative: “We are still praying for you and your kiddos!” or maybe “Let me know if there are specific ways we can pray.” It just alleviates the pressure to share all of the mundane details involved in waiting. And yes, waiting for the elusive travel date is as bad as it sounds. Grueling in fact. Know that we will be glowing when we have news and happy to share every little detail to the point that you will wish you hadn’t asked.

Post-Adoption No-no’s

I don’t have as many of these because we are still pre-adoption, but here’s a couple just for balance.

If it is obvious that someone has either adopted, kidnapped, or is babysitting the children they are with in the grocery store, then it is obvious. No need to ask, “are they really yours?” This could be confusing, especially for older children. Just smile and tell them how cute they are or call the police or both. I can’t wait for the day that someone cocks their head and asks if the four black children are ours. “Yeah, weirdest thing, right? They came out so dark.”

Some people are bothered by being asked if they are all siblings. If they are all adopted by the same parent then they are all siblings! Pop quiz: One biological child, one adopted from Africa and two adopted domestically. Are they all siblings? If you answered ‘No’ then you are on your way to a disgusted look before you know it. Don’t make parents answer the details of that question...to you (a stranger)...in front of their kids.

All that said...

Please don’t apologize if you’ve said these things to us. You may know who you are, but we don’t remember so let’s leave it that way. We don’t hold grudges and have laughed away most of it knowing that we’ve put our foot in out mouth more than we’d care to admit.

Please feel free to add in the comments your own examples of awkward things people have said to you.

And above all of this please know that the thoughts contained in this email are my experiences and may not be true for everyone. I only offer what’s here as a guide in trying to say what’s in your heart. If you mean well and want to offer your friend or loved one some expression of tenderness and caring in whatever it is they are walking through there’s one phrase that ALWAYS fits: I love you.

Thanks for reading.