We will do the walking

Jessica is due in December. There I said it. I didn't really know how to start and I know several people already know this information, but some do not. This came as a surprise; not an accident. A surprise. There are no accidents if God is sovereign.

Now that that's out of the way, the pump is primed for what else I want to say. First, I'll tell everyone what's going on with the pregnancy (Jessica and the baby's health). Then, I'll rant about something that is really under my skin.

The update. Jess is 27 weeks and has been monitored very closely since Evie was born 2 months premature. She's in the hospital even as I type. We went in last night because she was having contractions pretty steadily. The extent of my knowledge concerning health runs dry quite quickly so I'll say as little as possible. She's better now and will hopefully be coming home tomorrow. Magnesium slowed the contractions, steroids and antibiotics were administered as a backup plan. Our target date is October 12th. That's 32 weeks. If she makes it to then I get to take her out to dinner. Pray to that end. Maybe they'll be questions that I've left unanswered, but I'll try to keep Facebook updated with bits and pieces. Or follow me @ryanwalling on Twitter.

The rant. Life is hard. Our life is pretty difficult currently. I say that with some hesitation because there is always someone worse. Who am I to complain? I don't deserve the grace I'm given. I deserve no joy, only suffering. But I am human. And pain is painful. Some people who've not taken the time to think through their own thoughts and motivations hear of our current status and offer unsolicited prescriptions. Usually I hear this through others. It's not often someone has the gall to say things to the face being spoken about. They say things about maybe we shouldn't've adopted and our lives wouldn't be so tumultuous. They probably don't use words like tumultuous though. Or maybe they spout about using a form of contraceptive and this sort of thing wouldn't happen. These poor souls have not taken the time to consider what it is they are worshipping. Most probably show up on Sunday to sing and hear a sermon. Some even raise their hands and take notes. But they've missed the Gospel. Or forgotten it.

Pat Robertson is catching some flack because of a string of unthoughtful comments he's made as of late. I'll paraphrase, but check for yourself. He said a few months back that people may not should adopt because the children may be flawed and cause discomfort in your life. You just never can tell about orphans. Weeks later he told a man he would be justified in divorcing his wife who has Alzheimer's. She can no longer truly be his wife - performing her obligations to him and what not. And most recently he mentioned that moving to Saudi Arabia might be an option for a man getting his wife in line. There you could beat her into submission. I'm glad Jesus didn't mind the trouble I'd be when He adopted me into His family. And I'm glad He doesn't leave me when I'm unable or unwilling to perform my obligations. And I'm glad he doesn't beat me into submission. Instead grace wins the day.

To those who think we should have chosen an easier route. To those who believe that life should be training to reign. To those who would rather just avoid the difficult things and live life to the fullest. To those who don't know or misuse scripture to justify a self-righteous position. To those? You've missed the Gospel. The Gospel is dirty. Scandalous even! And God's love toward His children is steadfast. Terrifying even! That holy God would offer Himself as a sacrifice to buy me back from my own filth and cleanse me by joining His Spirit to mine...never giving up on me, continuing on at all cost to make me into His likeness because He knows that His likeness means completeness and that is all that bring true and lasting joy. This hope I have is grounded solidly and wrapped intricately throughout God's word. It is this. That He will use any means necessary to form me into what will ultimately be my eternal joy. Suffering and trials will come. There is little earthly prosperity in this Gospel. The only name-it, claim-it here belongs to God alone. I'm grateful for the bruising. Hard as it may be because I know all things will work out for the good of those who love Him.

First Peter has these words, "Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is good? But even if you should suffer for righteousness' sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled..." It goes on to tell us to always be ready to defend that for which you've been called and defend it I will. The problem lies in that it tells me to do so with gentleness. I don't always like being gentle. So, I'll refer to James who tells his adherents to be first pure, then peaceable.

I like Robert Frost. He wrote, "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference." Jess and I have not chosen an easy road. One might say the road chose us. I'd rather like to think God chose us for this road. And He has and will continue to equip us for the various obstacles we will conquer. We will conquer because God does the choosing and the equipping. We will do the walking.


Thanks for reading.