We just finished our adoption education notebook. It took us an estimated 12 hours spread over several weeks. It was no walk in the park either. It asked some hard questions. Circumstance questions like, "What will you do if your child tortures the family pet?" or "What if the child threatens you with a knife?" Yikes.
After completing it though, I think all parents-to-be should have to go through something like this. Granted our situation is different than having biological children, but still. It made us think about what we will say when strangers (or anyone) asks us inappropriate questions or says hurtful things to us or our children. Before opening this book, I would have said we were a 6 or 7 on preparedness (10 being super parents like Brad and Angelina or the Osbornes). After going through the book, I think we are a 6 or 7. Before it, we were probably pushing a duece.
There will undoubtedly be surprises, failings, and heartaches but we will endure. Jessica will make a great mom and she thinks the same of me...I mean that I'll make a great dad, not mom. Stop laughing. I wonder sometimes though because I have a weak stomach and kids can be gross. Everyone says, "When it's yours it's different..." I'm sure y'all are right.
Jessica may be upset with this paragraph because I did not pre-approve it. Better to ask forgiveness, than permission. Write that down, guys. One thing we read in the book was about how adoptive moms can become depressed afterwards. Now listen, those of you that know Jessica are probably saying, "pssh! Not Jessica. She's a warrior." And this is true. However, we (myself included) want to experience things just like other new parents would. Things will definitely be different with many, many things since we are adopting, but we still cherish your prayers, calls, cards, letters, love, balloons, flowers, baby gifts, showers, and Blu-Ray movies (haha...for the children of course!). And we so much appreciate you taking the time to read these blogs and stay updated with our exciting endeavor!
Thanks for reading.
Lilypie Waiting to Adopt tickers
Hey, guys,
ReplyDeleteRyan, we know the blue rays are for you! No, seriously you two will be wonderful parents and we are all tested of parenting skills daily. With God's direction we make it through the highs and lows (and knife stabbings!ha). Strength comes from our stuggles of life, as we have found out first hand the last two years with Jacob's illness. Life's great and wham!...God brings you through.We love you guys and know that there are a couple of special children picked by God especially for you to love and nurture. We are so excited for you!
Much love and blessings,
Amy Cowling
It has been asked:..."adoptive moms can become depressed afterwards". What is the psychological reasoning on this?
ReplyDeleteI didn't make that very clear. There is some research that reports that postpartum depression may not have as much to do with hormones as with stress. The stress of not feeling like one is equipped to properly parent a new child, stress of attachment difficulties, the emotional rollercoaster, and the lengthy processes can contribute to bouts of depression in mothers who give birth or complete adoption. Some of these can be more difficult for adoptive mothers (i.e. attachment).
I would LOVE to help with an adoption shower for you two (I won't be buying Blue rays though).
ReplyDelete