a few basics

I wanted to take a moment and go over a few basics. Some people are shocked when we tell them certain things about our adoption and it's probably due to the fact that we forget to tell everybody everything. So the basics.

Jessica and I have actually wanted to adopt for years. It's been on our hearts since before we were married I think. We are adopting internationally from N. N. is sandwiched between China (North) and India (South). Our original intention was to adopt an infant, but we are now (most likely) getting a sibling group. Long story short: N. changed their rules. The older child cannot be over six and one of the children must be female.

In my tiny brain I break the process into three stages. The first is the paperwork stage. In this stage we collect and complete all of the necessary documents for our agency, the N. government, and whomever else wants to know all things Ryan and Jessica.

Next is the waiting stage. It is waiting for us, but in N. the paperwork is being translated into Korean for their attorneys to scour. Just kidding about the Korean thing; they speak N. Later we found out the dossier doesn't have to be translated. After we are approved by the powers that be ruling N., they begin the process of pairing us with children. This, of course, transitions us into the last phase - referral.

We will receive a packet (probably delivered by a stork) that contains all of the info on our potential children. Sometimes this information is not very extensive. But whatever medical history, current condition, photos and such they have they send to us. We at that point can choose to accept or reject. Reject seems like a harsh word. I would say it would be highly unlikely we would not accept the first referral. There would have to be something glaringly uncomfortable.

Each stage is usually somewhere in the neighborhood of 3-4 months. We are sort of at the end of the first stage. All God's Children International (our agency) is reviewing our paperwork to make sure all is in order before sending it to N. We finished this stage fairly quickly mostly due to my extraordinarily determined and extremely competent wife.

Thanks for reading.

Not too much!

Hey everyone,

We're finishing up our dossier. Just need to complete our online education and get some documents notarized. You'll notice I have a new profile pic thanks to our friend Haley! She took some pics for us to include in our dossier...we had a lot of fun with that. Thanks Haley! I am so ready to be done with the dossier. Pray that I will stay motivated to finish it quickly. 

Until next time,

Jessica

We just finished our adoption education notebook. It took us an estimated 12 hours spread over several weeks. It was no walk in the park either. It asked some hard questions. Circumstance questions like, "What will you do if your child tortures the family pet?" or "What if the child threatens you with a knife?" Yikes.

After completing it though, I think all parents-to-be should have to go through something like this. Granted our situation is different than having biological children, but still. It made us think about what we will say when strangers (or anyone) asks us inappropriate questions or says hurtful things to us or our children. Before opening this book, I would have said we were a 6 or 7 on preparedness (10 being super parents like Brad and Angelina or the Osbornes). After going through the book, I think we are a 6 or 7. Before it, we were probably pushing a duece.

There will undoubtedly be surprises, failings, and heartaches but we will endure. Jessica will make a great mom and she thinks the same of me...I mean that I'll make a great dad, not mom. Stop laughing. I wonder sometimes though because I have a weak stomach and kids can be gross. Everyone says, "When it's yours it's different..." I'm sure y'all are right.

Jessica may be upset with this paragraph because I did not pre-approve it. Better to ask forgiveness, than permission. Write that down, guys. One thing we read in the book was about how adoptive moms can become depressed afterwards. Now listen, those of you that know Jessica are probably saying, "pssh! Not Jessica. She's a warrior." And this is true. However, we (myself included) want to experience things just like other new parents would. Things will definitely be different with many, many things since we are adopting, but we still cherish your prayers, calls, cards, letters, love, balloons, flowers, baby gifts, showers, and Blu-Ray movies (haha...for the children of course!). And we so much appreciate you taking the time to read these blogs and stay updated with our exciting endeavor!

Thanks for reading.

Starting to sink in

Hey everybody,

Just wanted to give a quick update. We spoke to our case worker at the agency last week and she said we should expect our children to be about 5 & 6 years old. Wow! We were hoping one of them would be about 2-3 but that's ok. We have been doing alot of reading trying to finish our adoption education requirements. I told Ryan I think its starting to sink in that we will be bringing home children that will not automatically trust us and will feel like strangers. That's kind of weird to think about, but true. We have great challenges ahead but I'm really looking forward to being a mom to these kids. Ryan has always said I like a challenge!!

I'm sure everyone will be delighted to hear that mine and Ryan's criminal checks came back clean...I know some of you were a little concerned about Ryan. :-) The home study report is completed so we are on our way to finishing our dossier. Thanks to you who have been praying that the paperwork would go smoothly. Our case worker told us it takes 2-3 months for the N. government to review our dossier, so we have some waiting ahead.

We have received one of our N. language books so we have plenty to work on during our waiting phase.

Until next time....