Prayer request

Well I found out today that our dossier can't be submitted to N. until we get an approval letter from the Citizenship and Immigration Office. This can take up to 90 days...pray this process goes faster. I am trusting that this is all in God's timing but I am disappointed.

Thanks for all the prayers,

Jessica

N. church

Ryan here. I am about to go visit a N. church with some new friends we've met here at seminary. Brandon and Cindy Shafer have graciously agreed to take me to meet these N. people that have church in Irving. Our thought is that this group of people could potentially be a vital part of understanding and continuing to engage in our children's cultural heritage.

Brandon has been fortunate to serve in N. and then got to know this people group existed after moving to seminary. I'm keeping the details vague because I'm not sure that I remember them correctly.

Well, I decided to just add to this post instead of writing another blog. I just got back from a wonderful time with the Shafers. I appreciate them so much for talking with us about N. culture and taking me to meet the group over in Irving tonight. Not to mention Brandon gave me a help-book on learning to speak the language!

On the way over Brandon and Cindy explained to me that church times change along with other aspects of the church that seem to be in constant transition. We showed up at 5 and walked around the building trying to find where exactly the meeting was taking place. We finally found Ati, Alex, and Harry. They were meeting in Ati's office. After warm introductions, Ati led worship on acoustic guitar. I guess I should mention that was all that was present: myself, the Shafers, Ati, Alex, and Harry. It was cozy in the office. They sang a few songs (hymns or choruses, I couldn't tell) in N. It was beautiful. I didn't know what they were saying, but I connected on a different level. Their passion for our Lord was evident.

Alex had some friends, Simon and Robbie, show up about the time we were going to read the Scripture. Once they were in and seated Brandon read from Romans 7, verses 14-25. Ati taught about our sinful state and our only hope being in Christ. It was a great time, meeting and worshipping with new brothers. They were excited to hear about our adoption and very inquisitive. We talked for quite a while after the service was over. It will be exciting to bring Jessica back to meet my new friends and even more exciting to bring our kids to meet them!

Well, I don't have time to say much more. I am currently reading a book that is revolutionizing the way I look at adoption. I have a blog brewing on the subject and I will lay it out soon enough. Until then, ta-ta.

Thanks for reading.

Now we wait!

Hello everyone!

Sorry it's been so long since I've posted anything. I waited 2 weeks to receive our home study in the mail...and I wanted the completion of the dossier to be my next post. So after 2 1/2 months of gathering and preparing paperwork, making multiple trips to have documents notarized, and combing over every document to make sure there are no cross-outs or write-overs(of course there were some mistakes...I had to get more copies of our marriage license and have the home study agency redo documents for me)...the dossier is complete and in the mail!! I am so glad to have this step done...it was really nerve-racking for me for a couple of reasons. I like to get things done in a timely fashion...I had to be really patient during these last few months when there were setbacks and that drove me crazy that I couldn't get it all done! Also, I am already OCD about things being perfect...when they told me how every document had to notarized and there couldn't be any write-overs on the documents and the notary's signature had to match their stamp...this just did a number on my already nit-picky nature. I'm sure Kim at the home study agency is tired of hearing from me. Listen to the dream I had last night...just to let you know how much I worry over such things. Well let me set this up for you. Yesterday, I was looking over all the documents one last time as I was organizing them and making copies and I noticed that one stinken' piece of paperwork from the home study agency was notarized with a signature that didn't match her signature on the other documents. So now I'm thinking I've got to call her on Monday and ask her to redo this document...great! Well I dreamed that I went to their office and asked her to redo the document and apparently she told me no or questioned that it needed to be done because I got really angry and told them just what I thought about that and the next thing I know the social worker is telling me they won't be able to do it at all because of what I said to them. So then I'm distraught, thinking how am I going to get this done? And I woke up...

I did receive some good news today from our adoption agency. They have found out from recent talks with the N. government that the government sees it as a priority to place children ages 3 years and older with their adoptive families.

I do have a prayer request...pray that the N. government will appoint a minister soon so that the wheels will begin to move for the adoption process for all the waiting families.

Until next time,

Jessica

a few basics

I wanted to take a moment and go over a few basics. Some people are shocked when we tell them certain things about our adoption and it's probably due to the fact that we forget to tell everybody everything. So the basics.

Jessica and I have actually wanted to adopt for years. It's been on our hearts since before we were married I think. We are adopting internationally from N. N. is sandwiched between China (North) and India (South). Our original intention was to adopt an infant, but we are now (most likely) getting a sibling group. Long story short: N. changed their rules. The older child cannot be over six and one of the children must be female.

In my tiny brain I break the process into three stages. The first is the paperwork stage. In this stage we collect and complete all of the necessary documents for our agency, the N. government, and whomever else wants to know all things Ryan and Jessica.

Next is the waiting stage. It is waiting for us, but in N. the paperwork is being translated into Korean for their attorneys to scour. Just kidding about the Korean thing; they speak N. Later we found out the dossier doesn't have to be translated. After we are approved by the powers that be ruling N., they begin the process of pairing us with children. This, of course, transitions us into the last phase - referral.

We will receive a packet (probably delivered by a stork) that contains all of the info on our potential children. Sometimes this information is not very extensive. But whatever medical history, current condition, photos and such they have they send to us. We at that point can choose to accept or reject. Reject seems like a harsh word. I would say it would be highly unlikely we would not accept the first referral. There would have to be something glaringly uncomfortable.

Each stage is usually somewhere in the neighborhood of 3-4 months. We are sort of at the end of the first stage. All God's Children International (our agency) is reviewing our paperwork to make sure all is in order before sending it to N. We finished this stage fairly quickly mostly due to my extraordinarily determined and extremely competent wife.

Thanks for reading.

Not too much!

Hey everyone,

We're finishing up our dossier. Just need to complete our online education and get some documents notarized. You'll notice I have a new profile pic thanks to our friend Haley! She took some pics for us to include in our dossier...we had a lot of fun with that. Thanks Haley! I am so ready to be done with the dossier. Pray that I will stay motivated to finish it quickly. 

Until next time,

Jessica

We just finished our adoption education notebook. It took us an estimated 12 hours spread over several weeks. It was no walk in the park either. It asked some hard questions. Circumstance questions like, "What will you do if your child tortures the family pet?" or "What if the child threatens you with a knife?" Yikes.

After completing it though, I think all parents-to-be should have to go through something like this. Granted our situation is different than having biological children, but still. It made us think about what we will say when strangers (or anyone) asks us inappropriate questions or says hurtful things to us or our children. Before opening this book, I would have said we were a 6 or 7 on preparedness (10 being super parents like Brad and Angelina or the Osbornes). After going through the book, I think we are a 6 or 7. Before it, we were probably pushing a duece.

There will undoubtedly be surprises, failings, and heartaches but we will endure. Jessica will make a great mom and she thinks the same of me...I mean that I'll make a great dad, not mom. Stop laughing. I wonder sometimes though because I have a weak stomach and kids can be gross. Everyone says, "When it's yours it's different..." I'm sure y'all are right.

Jessica may be upset with this paragraph because I did not pre-approve it. Better to ask forgiveness, than permission. Write that down, guys. One thing we read in the book was about how adoptive moms can become depressed afterwards. Now listen, those of you that know Jessica are probably saying, "pssh! Not Jessica. She's a warrior." And this is true. However, we (myself included) want to experience things just like other new parents would. Things will definitely be different with many, many things since we are adopting, but we still cherish your prayers, calls, cards, letters, love, balloons, flowers, baby gifts, showers, and Blu-Ray movies (haha...for the children of course!). And we so much appreciate you taking the time to read these blogs and stay updated with our exciting endeavor!

Thanks for reading.

Starting to sink in

Hey everybody,

Just wanted to give a quick update. We spoke to our case worker at the agency last week and she said we should expect our children to be about 5 & 6 years old. Wow! We were hoping one of them would be about 2-3 but that's ok. We have been doing alot of reading trying to finish our adoption education requirements. I told Ryan I think its starting to sink in that we will be bringing home children that will not automatically trust us and will feel like strangers. That's kind of weird to think about, but true. We have great challenges ahead but I'm really looking forward to being a mom to these kids. Ryan has always said I like a challenge!!

I'm sure everyone will be delighted to hear that mine and Ryan's criminal checks came back clean...I know some of you were a little concerned about Ryan. :-) The home study report is completed so we are on our way to finishing our dossier. Thanks to you who have been praying that the paperwork would go smoothly. Our case worker told us it takes 2-3 months for the N. government to review our dossier, so we have some waiting ahead.

We have received one of our N. language books so we have plenty to work on during our waiting phase.

Until next time....